Fist Full of What?

Just in case you didn't know, according to dream folklore, if you lose money in your dreams, the opposite is supposed to happen.So I should be gaining some money soon with these dreams.

In my first dream, I was working for Clint Eastwood, with some others. I don't remember what we were doing. In my recollection, it seems like we were doing something repetitive like putting packages together, stuffing envelopes or something similar. We were by the beach. An old friend of mine who is originally from Hawaii, a woman I have not seen in decades was there. She had binoculars and we were looking out on the ocean at an expanse of land I never knew about. She said Sepulveda Blvd continued on out that way. Obviously geography had changed a bit. My old friend told us she was going to move back to Hawaii.

When we finished doing our work for Clint, he didn't pay us with money. He gave us all a bunch of old papers that he said were worth more than money. However, none of us payees could see any value in this and he took off away from us fast, leaving us all to feel like we were robbed.

In my second dream, I was supposed to be on my way to a party. First, I was walking into a shopping mall. There was a group of about five men ahead of me, looking back at me. One of them told the others, "She's ugly. She's the one we should kill. We'll be doing the world a favor.

Okay, so instead of doing what most people would probably do, I tried to follow them. Apparently having been around Clint Eastwood gave me some extra chutzpah? Maybe I was carrying my own weapon. The fact that I followed them, maybe it scared them because they disappeared. That didn't stop me from looking for them.

So , I walked into a place that was a restaurant and bar, and Vincent Irizarry shows up in my dreams again. (strange). He grabs my hand and says, "come with me, I need you to help me". His deal was to organize a quick sale of "chances" for a raffle. We sold chances, probably to everyone in the place, and then we did the drawing. He disappeared. I announced the winner's name, she came up on stage with me. I looked for the prize money and I couldn't find it. I found Vincent's wallet (which was full of cash) and he quickly came back to get it and then took off again. We never found the winner's money. Thankfully there was not any kind of ruckus and she was nonchalant about things.

After all of that, I remembered there was this party I was supposed to go to. I was late. I couldn't find the fancy restaurant where the party was supposed to be in time to be there. There was an almost hidden entry to get into the elevator that took people up to this restaurant. By the time I got there, I was a day late, and of course the party was over. There was a money-minded hostess who waited at the top as soon as I exited the elevator. She started talking about the curry special and the price of the house wine. Prices were as sky-high as the penthouse floor where the restaurant was located. I told her I had to go to the ladies room first to freshen up. While I was in there, I re-acquainted myself with the fact I did not have much money. Then I realized it was Sunday and I had no idea how I was going to get home. Apparently I lived somewhere with limited public transportation. I went back down the elevator, but then an unknown man got on the elevator after it got back to the ground floor and he wouldn't let me get out. I had to ride back up to the top with him, he insisted. We traveled back up and then I woke up.

Paying Attention

I was supposed to be administering listening comprehension tests. There were paragraphs that I was to read to people and then there were questions to see how well they were listening. It was boring material and no one taking the tests was able to keep their attention to it. In fact, most of the people, in real life, have some kind of attention deficit disorder, according to the quack medical system of the US. Truly, I was struggling to make it sound less boring than it was and to pay attention to what I was reading was a tremendous chore for me.

My eyes were hurting because I had lost my reading glasses. I had a headache probably because in wakened life I have had a migraine for a week a half or so. Someone came over to take the test and she saw how I felt. She asked me if I had any herb. I did not. She said, "Well, no wonder. Take a break and let's go get some." Looking at my schedule, I saw that would be possible.

We went out to my car and it was severely vandalized. It looked like someone had hit it from every direction possible with a gigantic mallet. All the windows were broken. There was a suitcase inside that had been slashed open, clothing and belongings strewn about. My laptop, which I immediately noticed behind the suitcase mess (and I worried, that I am dead meat in my work life if that laptop was destroyed) looked like it was the only thing that hadn't been touched. I got it out of my car and we took it back to where I was staying.

She (was it Louise or Dori?) said we could just walk over to M___s house and he would have some. I didn't know he smoked. She said for obvious reasons he keeps a super-low profile. Well, I knew he was very private about other aspects of his life, so thinking it through, it was not so surprising. He lived in a mobile home (that would be very strange for him in real life) He answered one door, and said he was babysitting his niece. He looked at me and asked for assurance that I would not tell anyone that he did this green thing. Then he said he would meet us at the front door and give us a bag. (that was nice).

Mostly, with the symbolism involved, I believe this dream relates to my present work life.

Kidnapped

The worse thing was, I didn't believe anyone was going to notice I was missing until the trail would become really cold. No one would ever find me. I would be a slave forever.

They told me that was why they were kidnapping me. I would be a sex slave. They took me to a church for a meeting. At the end of the meeting, I read a poem I had written. A man who was a part of the kidnapping attempted to shut me up, but I just kept turning away from him and got louder and louder. He snatched the paper away from me, but by that time, I was almost through and I was yelling out the bottom lines.

I never ended up having to do anything sexual in the dream, and I was telling one of the nicer kidnappers how much pain I was in at the end before I woke up. I was telling him they must have not been thinking very clearly to have chosen me to kidnap for these purposes. I was terrified they were going to kill me, but multliple sclerosis makes my body too stiff too much of the time, I am too old for this. He was nice, but he kept saying things like, "I know what you mean, but...

I am glad I woke up.

Blue Man Fred

Confession: This dream doesn't begin with Blue Man Fred and maybe this was 2 different dreams. In that case, the 2nd dream began with Blue Man Fred.

In my first dream it seemed like maybe I was working for a call center, maybe not. That atmosphere and decor looked different and there weren't many people working, however there were many work stations with phones. It looked more like a beauty salon, but nobody was having their hair styles nor did I see any tools stylists use to do hair.

It was Sabbath and I was at work. The entire dream, I couldn't figure out why I was walking to work. I walked through the campus of the U of M, feeling guilty. When I was at work, I never really worked. This other lady that was there took all the phone calls. At lunch, my friend MD surprised me with wine and a loaf of challah. We said blessings, ate, drank and shared conversation. He said he knew I was there and I could not understand how he knew. It seemed very strange to be drinking wine in the lunchroom at work. MD stashed the wine bottle and showed me another wine bottle he had stashed, he said there was a Jewish holiday when they had made him come to work.

Later, I was going home. I walked inside the house, surveyed each room to see if anyone else was home, and someone knocked at the door. I didn't look through the peephole or ask who it was, I just opened the door like some crazy, foolish woman and there was this big tall dark young man in a Blue-Man suit, (except his face wasn't blue). He said, "I need to use the bathroom real bad!". I don't remember verbally giving him permission or inviting him in. But he was past me in a second and on his way down the hall to the bathroom. He knew where to find it.

Somehow, my attention got diverted to something else and then back to the Blue Man, sprinting toward the front door and out he went! He wasn't holding or carrying anything and it didn't seem probable he could hide anything in that suit, so I didn't worry until I went into my room and found my laptop was taken apart. The screen had several layers and they were all separated all over my bedspread. I was patiently putting them back together (as if I knew what I was doing) and my youngest sister walked in. (Apparently, it was her house?) 

"What happened?" she asked me. I explained. Then she looked up in my closet and asked "What's that cat?" She walked over to the top shelf and brought out my cat who was wrapped inside a blanket and tied up so that only her head was showing. I tried to calm my cat while I untied the bundle and she ran off to the front door after she was freed, as if she was going to take vengeance against her captor.

My sister asked, "What did he look like?" My description was pretty brief, but she answered like she was sure. "Oh, that's Fred! He's crazy. He does that to people. He used to work at Krogers as a meat-cutter."

"...And you just let him do that?"

She looked at me funny and said, "YOU just let him do that.

I went back to my computer, put it back together and realized the cord was missing. But then I found it on the floor. My cat came back into the room and was looking at me. Then I woke up and my cat was just sitting there looking at me.

The Slap

I need to get this on the blog and out of my mind (for now). I know I will come back to read it later, but I hope to clear my mind for now and also need to remember the symbolism.

It starts out, I was walking down a big street in San Antonio. I was pushing something with wheels in front of me, maybe one of those little shopping baskets people can take on buses. I began to cross the street, jaywalking. I looked behind me and the cars at the light were at a stop. When I faced forward again, I see two young women crossing in front of me, wearing backpacks and maybe sleeping mats or sleeping bags on their backs. The longer I looked at them, I became aware they wore no clothes! It shocked me into a standstill. Suddenly I realized I heard a difference in traffic, looked behind me and went back to the side of the street I started from.

When I finally made it to the homeless shelter, I took a seat in the waiting room. To my left were a series of short shelves open to the other side, some shelves held containers of food. Somebody placed a container on the top shelf next to me and then came back with another container that went into the shelf underneath that.

I could not see the person on the other side, but I asked, "What is that?"

They said, "It's warmed milk."

I saw women with babies sitting in the waiting room and thought maybe it was for one of them. However, I asked anyway, "For what?"

They said it was for the soup. I figured I must be sitting in the wrong chair, so I moved. I walked out of there and went to a bar. Husband and I were drinking beer, standing and talking because it was crowded with people. There was a contest for a diamond ring and Husband won the contest! From out of nowhere, a dark-haired woman walked up to us, looking at him smiling, saying she knew he was going to give her the ring, right? She asked him if he wanted to go out in the back alley and do some kissy-kissy.

I looked at her like she was crazy and asked her if she was talking about having a threesome because he wasn't going nowhere without me (not that I really would have participated in a threesome). She slapped me! Then I walked away. (that was pretty stupid, right?) I was mad and I decided I wasn't going to go home. I didn't want to be there when he finally decided to show up. I walked toward a bus stop and saw a bus approaching. Scrambling to get enough change (for Metro Transit prices), I realized I had no idea where I was planning to go. I thought about going to Ingrid's house, but she would be in another state. Before I had the chance to do anything else stupid, I woke up and laughed because my arm was posed as if I was holding on to a pole on the bus.

The Surgery Never Completed

I was supposed to have a surgery. It seemed like it was to be an angioplasty, except they weren't going in the normal way, they were going in through my armpit.

The first day they tried it, my cat and another cat were at the hospital with me. At first they were cool. Later they decided to run out of the room, which was worrisome. The surgery was interrupted and they told me to get my cats and take them home. I was to return the next day to try again.

The next day, I was there and when they began the surgery, I felt so strange, like I was not getting enough air. (Strange, because they should have been giving me oxygen). They were surprised when I complained, saying they must not have given me enough of a certain drug. They administered more drug and left the room. The drug didn't do anything. I became bored from waiting so long for them to return, so I eventually got up, got dressed and left.

I met some friends who were going to see a magic show. We went to a theater in a different town, that was unexpected, Rina's brother said it was a better show and it was true. When we arrived, there was less of a crowd. We had better seats, closer to the stage than it would probably have been if we had gone to the usual place. I didn't go home with them.

Next thing I remember, I was sitting at a busstop. There were all of these people in houses nearby, looking out of windows at me and talking among themselves, arguing about what race I was, so much that it became extraordinarily annoying. I began singing about them, like an opera, which only made it worse because then they all came out of their houses and converged upon me, stealing too much of my air. I got up and went to another bench, exclaiming "I have heart problems and I am having problems breathing." An old Black woman said, "I'm glad you told us that", and then I woke up.

Dream a Little Dream

I dreamed several dreams, but of course, this little dream was the last one that woke me and the only one I remember all day. It was a migraine overnighter.

It was the smitten 27-year old who is so upset with me and alternately badly influenced about me from the waggling tongues of false tale-tellers, that I make him “uncomfortable” to be around me, who suddenly and surprisingly walked up to me, looking like a big-eyed puppy dog  as I was sitting down googling something on the Mac.  His hair looked better than I’ve ever seen it. After all of this, I made my search engine seem more important. I need an apology. His "discomfort" and these lies need to quit. My honor needs restoration. I refused to speak because he needed to speak first. I couldn’t look at him, but I was looking at both of us from outside of my body (I rarely dream like that). He kept looking at me, but he would not say anything. I don’t know if he just couldn’t speak or if he was waiting for me to say something. I woke up.

Funny thought for me to think of anyone reading this: you know how some people have the same dreams consecutively? Of course, everyone does this. Hahaha. I wonder if it was originally his dream because his hair looked so good.

Who's zooming who? I still maintain my innocence. (smile)

This is TROUBLE

First, Rina came into my room, trying to talk to me about the controversy about me and her brother. I began to tell her and we were interrupted. I never got the chance to set her straight about things. Her brother was cross. I called him a heathen to his face and I made it clear that I had no understanding how he could think I wanted to be intimate with him. There was a heater that was out of order. It would not turn off. (yes, I get the innuendo) He said he would fix it. Instead, he MADLY took a stick to the fan behind the heater and kept hitting it until he broke it to pieces. Next thing I remember, I was in their mother's car. She was going to take me to the grocery store. I was in the passenger seat of the car. She abruptly got out of the car, while it was moving in reverse. I asked her what was going on, as I did my best to maneuver over to hit the brake, put the car in park, and get behind the steering wheel. Was I supposed to drive myself? She said yes. I did fine getting to the grocery store, but after I got there, I could not control my shopping cart.

Woe!

When It's So Much Trauma

I can't help knowing there is a message involved and I am not doing an adequate job of delivering the warning. It was like 6 hours of nightmares and trying to reason why. SS all over the place, but more. Knowing someone is going to die an early death because of her obsession to help him, because she thinks his soul is salvageable, because she doesn't recognize the extreme evil and crafty cruelty he exudes.

I am traumatized only because I know I am supposed to convey a message to ears that close themselves to my words. I know I am here with these people, in this situation that I don't want to be in, for specific reasons. Yet I don't know how to communicate it right. I don't even know anymore if I am supposed to break through the barriers they put up against my communication attempts. I must think about this for awhile before going further with action.

Meanwhile, since my last post I have had more dreams about walking about large building structures that are apartments or living quarters for massive amounts of people. I am still processing this, not knowing for sure how this symbolism should be interpreted.

Sometimes Dreams Go All Over The Place

So I say this with caution: Sometimes dreams do go all over the place, one minute your in one place and the next it's something completely else. I can't exactly remember what order any of this went in, I just remember it was all so very disturbing.

I was offered a job as a Spa Director, presumably for a place I had worked before (except for the fact that in real life I have never worked there). The woman who used to run this place was someone in real life who used to run another company I worked at for a minute, however in the dream, she had relinquished her position and quit. That was one of the reasons they wanted me back.

In the dream, I was having problems deciding what I was wearing to get there. There was also a dilemma of shoes. This place was nearby and it would have been simpler to walk, I wore walking shoes, and later realized I was going to have to get on a bus anyway because there was a part of the street where people were tearing up the sidewalk. I almost considered changing into something that would go better with heels and finally decided against changing at all.

Taking the bus, I was still going to have to do the majority of the walk because the bus stops were about 2 blocks away in both directions. I could walk up a hill or walk down only a slight hill. I didn't take the hill and the driver let me off early. Then I had to jaywalk and only walk past a few shops before I got to my new job. As I went in, I suddenly felt overdressed.

Girl dreams! HAHA

Then it got more serious.

There was a part where I was being hurried up by people, there were others who joined or were herded in with us. It was random, but it reminded me of primary school, everybody stay in line, please. I could not stay in there lines. I kept running off and exploring. The building was new. I lifted a key to a bathroom we passed. This was supposed to be my new home. There were people I have known there and people I have never met. Funny, I felt like I was in Orange County, California and later it was stated that we were indeed there in Orange County and we were on Beach Blvd. Derrick and I escaped off of the property, we went to a convenience store to get something to eat because we realized it was going to be all cafeteria food at this place. I realized it was not going to be kosher and there was no choice to have a kosher part of the building to live in. (not that the convenience store was kosher... it's a dream and does not have to make sense.

Then we went off in another direction as if we were not going back. We ran into a gang. SS was there, high on crack with a bunch of thugs. One of them grabbed me and they were trying to scare me. I just kept smiling, almost like I was a madwoman. Some other guy had a meat cleaver he was brandishing. They grabbed my hair like they were going to chop it off. Another guy threateningly zipped his finger across his throat and people laughed. Meanwhile, they were seriously pulling at my hair and trying to make me scream, but I wouldn't scream. Instead I just had this lunatic smile on my face. They chopped my hair off and I turned around smiling at them and asked, "Are you happy now?"

Derrick was impatiently yelling, "Come on!" as he was acting like he was going to run off and leave me alone. It had dawned on him that we didn't really know the neighborhood and he thought we will probably be better off where we were. I dreaded that if we went back to that place we were never going to get back out of there. I went back with him anyway, and I don't know why.

The other really bothersome remembrance that I have from this morning's dreams is that I was rising up into the sky, I couldn't help myself but to keep going up, I could not slow myself down. I was looking down at my cat. She was also rising up into the sky below me. She wasn't rising as quickly and I did not want to lose her. I called to her and it was like there was an invisible string between us, holding us together and it was getting longer to make up for the increasing distance, but I was trying to bring her closer anyway. The Shekhinah was drawing us upward, I remember that feeling and trying to explain this to my cat.

This is the second dream I have had about me feeling like I am dying, living in this house. And in real life, at present, the owners of this house I live in are allowing SS to stay here because he has "serious problems". Oy!

A Vegetarian Frying Chicken?

I wish I could remember all of it. Husband was in it and I guess he was here. So was T-Bone or someone who resembled him. I had a Buick. It wasn't a Regal, I think it was an old Skylark. It was cherry-classic.

Husband had his own car, even though it was painted like an advertisement for some kind of motor oil. They were driving the cars back from somewhere and I disputed they should have picked me up and allowed me to drive my own car home from where ever it was because I didn't want anyone driving my car. If my own mother wasn't driving my cars, nobody else should either. T-Bone apologized and threw me my keys. I had to leave. There was somewhere I was supposed to go. They left in the oil-mobile and I went back inside to get ready.

I ended up in Minneapolis. I was using my cane. I stopped to get something to eat and then saw one of the holier women that I know over at a table with other women. This friend of mine is a vegetarian and she was frying chicken.

I remembered I had not fed my cat. For a minute, I was struggling to balance my tray and walk over to their table. My friend wasn't looking up to see me and no one saw my dilemma. I decided I would probably not stay in the city overnight as I had planned. I had to go back and feed my cat.

I'm pretty sure this was entirely a psychologically induced dream. Signs of the times...

My Uncle and The Eggs

First of all, my uncle would never divorce my aunt. But in this wacky dream, he was in the process of it. We went on a vacation after he signed some papers and wrote that he was only paying $300 a month in alimony.  We rode in one of his Cadillacs. As he drove, he morphed into a younger person, all the way to looking like a teenager. When we got to the motel, as we were going to our separate rooms, he asked me if I wanted to go get plastered with him. I don't believe I've ever seen this uncle take a drink so that was equally bizarre. I declined.

At that point, having temporarily forgotten that my uncle had morphed younger before my eyes, I started thinking I should maybe call the police and report that someone is using my uncle's credit cards and has stolen one of his cars. Then I met up with best friend and we got some gift bags  from somewhere. We had these huge bags with assorted toiletries, including what looked like a ladies' version of Avon's Black Suede, only it was pink! After we looked through our bags we went for a walk. Along the way, we walked on a sidewalk that where there were chickens laying eggs. It was so hot that the eggs were bursting open and frying on the sidewalk.

More on this later.

Flashback to December

Same vision/nightmare/premonition as in December 2011 with a little more added to it.

Same group of women sitting in folding chairs, in an area that may be inside of a church? The room is somewhat centralized in that it's not a simple four-cornered room and there are other rooms and doorways that are a part of what I see. I am standing behind the mother of the child that starts screaming bloody murder from inside one of those rooms. The mother has wavy brown-black hair. I only see her from the back. She gasps "Jacob" as she jumps up to go to her son. Another woman gasps "____ is in there with him," as if she already knew there was a possibility of something terrible happening because she knows he is a sick excuse for a human being. B___ is once again defending him and woman are immediately cutting her off with expressions that are shunning. As the poor mother is screaming and physically attacking SS, B___ is still trying to plead for his case talking about don't be so hard on him, he had this happen when he was a child  and he just needs mental help, I am yelling that he is past mental help and he belongs in prison and deserves whatever the guys in there do to him; he needs to pay for all the bad things he's done to people, especially for messing with children. He should know better if he really was raped by a man when he was a child. And if it was such a horrid experience why is he still talking to his so-called rapist? I woke myself up yelling.

I went back to this several times this morning, but I can't ever see the mother's face or see the child. I've seen into the room (it's like a nap room or a room for childcare) and I saw the mother hitting SS, but I wasn't focusing on the child to see what he looks like. For about 15 years now people have been talking to me about lucid dreaming. I wish I could direct myself better in dreams, but I'm not sure that I am the one who should control what I am being shown. Perhaps it would have kept me from realizing today that if B___ doesn't take care about her close associations with SS, her reputation is going to go down. Of course I probably already perceived that, but if this is a group of women from her church, it may be more relevant.

So I am a glutton for punishment sometimes in the scope of trying to be righteous. Knowing fully well that B___ has some viewpoints that totally go against my beliefs, I must go into prophetess mode and tell her this vision has happened again. I already know she will meet with an untimely and shameful death. I don't know the exacts, but she is too close to SS and the way he is and they way so tight, I wouldn't be surprised if he and his actions are the death of her. But I must warn her. If there is anything she can do to prevent this, she should! But she won't because instead she wants to impose that my visions are demonic. She asks me if I think I am a medium and starts talking to me about her idolatrous religion. I am ready for a bonfire and to be burned at the stake as a witch. It would be laughable except 1) there is this little boy named Jacob who is going to have a terribly traumatic experience and I am totally frustrated with my efforts of trying to stop it, 2) after she tried to call me possessed, I told her he was nasty and she was nasty for trying to defend somebody who is so nasty, 3) She keeps on with this stupid misery talking about "I know you don't like him..." and I still feel (and may always feel) I am only an observer and that like has nothing to do with this! I live a holy life and she doesn't. My gift is a blessing and not anything from anybody evil. People didn't treat the prophet Jeremiah very kindly either.

Really strange dream the other morning! (When aren't dreams strange?)

I was in a setting with Vincent Irizarry and Walt Willey. It was as if they were interviewing me, although I don't know if we were being televised, if there was an audience or if it was just the 3 of us in a room alone. They were jovially asking me so many questions. Some of them were a bit prying and personal, but the vibe was comfortable and fun. In fact, some of the questions and answers were a bit humorous, which is what caused me to wonder if we were in a show after I woke up and thought about the dream. One of the funny questions was when Walt asked me if I liked to wear t-shirts. Then he said Susan likes t-shirts. In the end, they both told me I was ready to find my husband and that I would find the right man to be in my life.

Yesterday morning I kept having migraine dreams. For me that means nightmares that go on and on. I wake and feel so pained I must go back to sleep and return into the same nightmare. 2 hours after I awoke I was talking with a friend recalling these nightmares. When I got off the phone I tried to remember exactly what they were about and I didn't remember anything except a random remnant that showed me exactly where to find something I'd lost over a year ago. I walked over to the bookshelf and  RIGHT ON the very books it was on top of in the dream it was there! I had thought it went behind and under the bookshelf and there was something else on the books, in front of what I'd lost so it couldn't be seen.

So in the past few years, I am seeing more good predictions coming from my dreams. It's an amazing gift and I am in praise mode that I may keep seeing more good to compensate for all of the bad things I have had to see in advance.

Anybody who reads this dream blog may be interested to know I hope to be posting dreams and thoughts of dreams more often BECAUSE today I was thinking back to a dream I had 3 or 4 years ago and realizing it was about my life here in this house and the way things are at present. It frustrates me that I didn't record it so that I could have an exact, descripted memory of the symbolism. It involved a lot (many sets) of mis-matching containers (such as spice containers, food cannisters and other containers that one usually sees in matching sets). I used to keep a great dream notebook and stopped when writing became much more difficult. Sometimes I have to type one-handed, and sometimes it just hurts to much to do beyond what is necessary. However I think dreams and their meanings or correlation in our lives are so intriguing and worth sharing, If nothing else, I'm sure it could be at least mildly entertaining to some of you. :)

The other thing that came to mind while I was thinking about this is a random (or not so random) dream I had in recent weeks. Very short, I saw The Notorious One talking with another guy as they were walking up to a convenience store. He was talking to the other guy about me and then said, " If I'd known I was going to have the chance to be with someone so special, I would have lived my life a lot differently." Then I woke up.

Sometimes in dreams, we don't always see the people as they really are. Well I don't know. I have never knowingly received a communication from The Notorious One since he's been gone off of this earth, so that's probably what startled me out of my sleep. At first, I thought, that was really something fantastic that I had a communication with him. Later though, I think maybe it was someone that's been more recently involved in my life. Unfortunately, it's really looking like I need to accept that special part of my life is over... OR PERHAPS what I should focus on is the message: I am someone so special. :)))

Horrid Enlightening Dream/Nightmare/Revelation

They say our most horrid nightmares are important spiritual messages meant to get our attention so that we can be aware. Not everyone makes it past the original content.

My message this morning came along with a migraine. With migraines come some of my most vivid revelations that I am forced to continue through until it's through, dreams that can wake me up and then when I go back to sleep I am right back in the same mess.

Mr. Half-Penny, I am renaming him: Sir Sicko, more likely minimized to SS.

SS was raping me furiously. It hurt bad and he was yelling at me telling me this was my payback for living rent-free.

He turned into my mother's 2nd husband, without changing form. Then I knew they were the same. (My step-father always seemed to think we that he abused "owed" him something.) Moreover, it helped me to realize the negative energy that both of their spirits are still throwing at me; they are both so full of hate. They are both demons in life and after death.

(Still, the other nightmares with the SS monster, it's only SS, those are all things that are really on him and I just keep praying that he will be caught and imprisoned before much longer.)

This is a message meant to compel me to shine positive light, more than I ever have been before. Christians want to talk about spiritual warfare, they ain't got nothing! All that I've been through in life, there is something I am here for. Whatever way I have to I will fight against their evil energy. My family tried to take me down with their negative energy and that purpose was defeated. This year, this day, I finally see what I need to do. The message has been thrown at me a few times, but it took a nightmare to hit me in the head with it.

I must let my light shine!

A Dream Worth Pondering

I really should have recorded this the day of the morning I had it, for specificity's sake. I need to figure out interpreting this. Still thinking about it.

Starting out, I was living in this apartment in a building that otherwise only had occupation by office and retail space. Maybe I had no curtains or blinds. Some of my windows looked out into offices and stores. It was strange. I had a baby in the apartment with me. The baby never made a sound, although it was alive. I went out to get something for just a moment. Shortly after I returned, Ingrid arrived. Apparently, she was the person who had given me the baby. I asked her why the baby was so quiet all of the time. Suddenly, I realized I could not find the baby! She had disappeared. Worse, I realized I didn't know why I had left her all alone in the apartment when I had gone out to the store! I felt really terrible about that and Ingrid was of course looking at me as though I should feel really terrible and what kind of nurturing woman was I?

So, I had to move. I was tired of my windows, feeling like someone must have been looking in and took the baby. It wasn't like Child Protective Services had come in. No police entered into the dream. I just had to go. I moved into this HUGE place where the main room was expansive and then there were many compartmentalized rooms mostly made from accordion-like walls that could be opened up. However, some rooms had regular walls. Ingrid was there for a moment and remarked she wondered how I could afford such a place. I sort of wondered why I needed a place so large. But then people started coming over, filling up the space. Just about the entire Buchanan family from OLTL was there and eventually, we were having a musical jam session. My guitar strings became loosened and they were inadvertently attached to something else. Despite my guitar problems, we were having a fun time and the music was decent. Tonja Walker and Thom Christopher walked in and disappeared. We looked all throughout the place and couldn't find them. Then, Vicki said they must be in the secret room. Well, leave it to Vicki to know about secret rooms. We found so many secret rooms, but we never found Tonja and Thom.

My husband showed up and he also wondered how I was able to get such a huge place and wanted to know why.

Next thing I know, I'm sitting next to Mr Prince of the Ghetto in a car and he was talking about my husband and other guys, saying I always come back to him but why do I always go running away to go and end up with other guys. My revelation: I told him I have never stopped loving him, however HE is the one who is always so busy with other things and has so many women out there with kids of his and I am overwhelmed by all of his other associations. I tell him last time I gave up on him it was because he had moved in with some other woman that his mother told me about and why was I supposed to wait around, so of course I finally found someone to marry.

Then I woke up.

Most Funniest Disturbing Nightmare This Week (thus far)

The Artesia Freeway began where the boulevard begins at Aviation. I only wanted to go as far as Vail, but the exit was in the left lane and I totally missed it. The freeway was built double-decker and I ended up on top. A young man who knew my Prince of The Ghetto was riding with me. Apparently he had something to do with the music industry. He wanted to hear me sing and all I could do was sing, "Row Your Boat"! Very annoyed with myself for blowing that chance and never singing anything else, aside from the fact that I drove all the way to the Long Beach Freeway because traffic (and my car also) was moving too fast.

May the Name Of Mr Halfpenny Be Blotted Out of The Book Of Life

I am SO SICK of having these nightmare visions concerning this monster! He is an abusive rapist, child molester, abuser. He prefers little boys, and I've had nightmares about him before I even met him 2 1/2 years ago. I have nightmares of his horrid interactions with my dear friend. I usually see things from her perspective, but lately I have been seeing from someone else and I don't know who. I don't know if it's past times or future. Either way it's ugly and it's about a little boy I never saw before this last month. His name in my visions is Jacob. I am seeing from the perspective of a woman who is an aunt or a friend of the child's mother.

Enough on that ugliness!